This Blog Can be Bought

In light of recent revelations that Bloggers and "journalists" have been paid to tout products or ideas, I would like to make it perfectly clear that this blog can be bought for the right price.

Please see price list below.

Endorsement of political candidate of your choice Price is per post	Presidential (Republican): 1 night in the Lincoln bedroom, left metatarsal from Lincoln corpse Presidential (Libertarian): 2-for-1 dinner coupon at Denny's Presidential (Democrat): not applicable (only viable candidates endorsed) Governor (Georgia): Let's just forget about those speeding tickets, shall we? Governor (other): $50 per consonant, $25 per vowel, $10 discount if candidate is a member of a recognized minority (e.g. Republican in Vermont) School Board (Cobb County): 2000 copies of "On the Origin of Species" to be donated to local church libraries
Ebullient endorsement of the Discovery family of television networks minimum 1 post maximum 5 posts guaranteed use of the words "enchanting", "must see", "intelligent", and or "Lindsey Lohan*" in each post *included for search engine optimization	1 weekend shopping in New York City with the wife, supervised by Stacy and Clinton
Flattering review of a VoIP service and/or VoIP equipment 1 to 10 flattering post comments guaranteed Disparaging comments disabled for the duration of the contract* *comments may be stored for later use and/or repurposed as comments on other topics	All equipment provided free of charge (for "imparital" evaluation) 1000 hours of free calling on said equipment (see "impartial" above) Direct line to Vice President of customer care for technical problem resolution (must be real VP, not made up and outsourced VP)
Flattering review of TiVO service and/or equipment	180-hour, dual tuner, Series 2 or later TiVo with built in DVD burner and integrated wireless support Lifetime programming support for said TiVO
Overt support for the homosexual agenda Discount if only tacit support is requested	Tickets for four to "The Drowsy Chaperone", orchestra center, Saturday evening performance and dinner party afterwards with the cast One BowFlex Xtreme 2 Home Gym, delivered and installed
Overt support for the radical right agenda	$2500 shopping spree at Wal-Mart (must include guns-n-ammo section) One BowFlex Xtreme 2 Home Gym, delivered and installed
Endorsement of Delta Airlines	Complimentary and guaranteed upgrade to business class on all flights to and from Japan Failing the above, hourly personal massages from flight attendant Koko and a guarantee of an empty adjoining middle seat Failing the above, just try not to injure me or lose my luggage this time, please ....

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